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Soul Searching

by Ricky Kendall

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1.
The Thrush 04:19
What does it mean to love without the aid of string? Just like the Thrush and the song that he sings. He knows it's a giving thing when no one is listening. what reason what great exchange for to sing again through the grateful plain? Where do I lay all my love and my hate? Both have a goal one to give one to take. I think of that flying wing not with holding a single thing. requite is a sight that he has yet to see for all his melody. Up the coast I'll leave a loving ghost and a fleeting tune. racing past a half a summer sun from a harvest moon. Songs of struggle for a place to stay for a humble nest. I'll sing softer in the sky's quiet violet. All creation sings like I do. Even when my heart swears not to. I still do. When I become like that boarderless bird I'll fly away and be glory observed. I know it's a lofty dream and whether I wake or sleep I'm still just a wingless being falling down on this tumbling ground. Look at the love in my hands on my face Look at the sky blue and blank as a page.
2.
I can't see the road that I'm traveling on. Hey that's alright because I'm driving til dawn. I'm soul searching. The street lights burned out about fifty miles ago. Hey, that's alright because you're sharing my load. We're soul searching. I've got a quarter tank, honey. I'm working hard to make money. If I break down then I'm running, Show me the way. You said you never would leave me you said you would not deceive me and I believe what you say. Your love is for hire your feelings on fire but the peak of desire is when your love has grown tired and you're still burning. Maybe you'll crash maybe you'll burn maybe you've got another lesson to learn while soul searching. I've got this inclination I might need more information about the destination I'm going to. I burn my reservations down I have no hesitations now My destination is you. There's right and there's wrong there ain't no in between I know I've said some things that I didn't mean. I'm so sorry, would you please forgive me. Sweet to the heart and it's hard on the pride, forgiveness is not to be worked out in your mind. I'm slowly learning but it's hard turning when your heart's hurting that's why I'm soul searching.
3.
Old man, I saw you at the edge of hell. You said you've got no more tales to tell. Your song's gone and the worries are at your heels. Old man, I know just how it feels. Old man listen close to me. You'd drown in my empathy. You'd sink faster than a stone so old man, leave that drink alone. I'll take you from a far side of a firey lake I'll take you from the let down of a pearly gate. I will lead you to a place where you last kicked off your shoes. til you learn how to love and lay down those old man blues. Old man, I will bury you deep 'neath the sorrow and solitude. The things you built with your own hands. they're mine too, for you are my old man. I'll take you from the memories that you bow before. I'll take you from the welcome mat at the devils door. I will lead you to a place where your deepest hope comes true. Old man, I will make a new man out of you.
4.
Life 03:06
She's your life. She'll take your hand. She'll lead you to a prison cell and let your troubles lock the door. But that's alright. She'll be your friend. She'll lead you to the heights of places you've never been before. Oh, there's something about her. They say she's sweet, they say she's good. You'd better treat her like you should. Shes free and wild, but she won't stay with you. There's a reputation that precedes that little girl. She'll run for miles. She'll run away from you. She's got a strange addiction to the wonders of the world. No, don't try to save her. They say she's kind they say she's mean and there's no room for in between. No, don't try to keep her. You've got to cut away your pride. You've got to let her leave your side. When she's out of sight your heart stops beating, you stop your breathing. She'll run until the dawn and all through the evening because life comes and goes in time and everybody knows she'll make you lose your mind if you're holding her too close. So let her go to fall in love and love will bring you back to life. She's full of strife. She's funny still. You'd better give her up cause she will treat you bad until you lose your life and let her run and find her in the morning shining with the sun.
5.
My daddy said 'Make your peace with God or lie down with the devil. If you choose the latter you reject the first.' He said, 'Son you ain't no God and son you ain't no devil. So choose this day who are you gonna serve.' In the morning, I wake to find I'm just a man in the middle of a war flesh and blood hanging on to something deeper down. I'm making peace with the Lord. My momma said, 'Get off of the throne of your own heart or stay king. If you choose the latter, you'll be overthrown.' She said, 'Son you'd better listen or you'll lose everything and your heart won't have a place to call a home.' In the morning, I wake to find a broken kingdom in the middle of the floor bowing down to a better king than ever I was and the kingdom is restored inside of me. I'm making peace with the Lord. Won't somebody turn the light on cause it's too dark to see we've been scared so long that fear planted a seed. and that fear became a fruit that fell the foot of my tree. Where the perfect love is fear can never be. In the morning I wake to find a bitter pain I've felt this feeling once before Fear has taught me not to trust a single soul but I don't need fear anymore because a kingdom has been restored inside of me I'm making peace with the Lord.
6.
I've been around a long, long time. The ol flint hills are a friend of mine. Listen to me people, hear me speak. You know I'm all plateaus if you take a peak... I've got the Ozark Mountain blues. My frustration is my reputation. all these allegations across this great nation. I'm still am mountain but listen to me. I'd say anything to cover insecurities. I've got the Ozarlk Country blues.
7.
Speak To Me 03:32
Here with my hand on my heart swearing up and down 'Oh, no, I will never leave.' Winds come to court and they woo me out of my vow. There I go and you wait for me. Oh, me and my patterns. Oh, say it doesn't matter. Deep in the heart of the sea is a voice I know an the same one in the hands of hell. Out in the reaches of space and the space inside comes a feeling and I know it well. It seems as though I cannot escape you. But Oh, why would I want to. For without you I am blind, oblivious to love and its demonstration. Unaware upon a wire is a bird upon the lines of communication. Here in the center of your heart in the talons of your word in the saftety of your wings I am miles over land and over sea over you and over me Love has taken everything I am. Here in the morning I will sing with the people that I love and the hearts that you have made your own. Rush through the rustle of my leaves. I am rooted. I'm a tree. I am planted. I am river grown. So won't you speak to me?
8.
Sunshine 04:30
My heart is still within my chest as I see that old sun setting in the west. I feel it burn, I feel it beat. I see the new sun rising in the east. I see a man out on the street. He's got no home, no shoes upon his feet. The people give him food. The people give him change but he shoots their money up into his veins. The people turn their face away. They say that everything's alright as long as I'm ok. and nothing's going on as long as I am blind. But I don't worry about those people because the sun's going to shine on the homeless kind. I see a girl down on her knees. She's got two children and the oldest one is three. She's got no man. She's underclass. So she sells her body for a little cash. I see her walking the grocery store. all the people say everybody knows that girls a no good whore and everything is fine as long as I'm not poor. But I say girl you're going to find just what you're looking for. and I say, girl the sun is shining, what are you waiting for? It's your open door. I see a man up on the cross. His body's broken and his heart's about to stop. And when it's still within his chest he sees that old sun setting in the west. I feel it burn. I feel it beat. I see that dead man walking up to me. He says that everything's alright because I'm your sunshine.
9.
Silent when angry quick to rejoice often he tarries and seldom he hurries. Wide is the low road and wicked that freeway. He'll choose the narrow and keep his hope for tomorrow. Who is that man? If he got famous for any a reason. He'd stay just as blameless as he was when he was nameless. He's got a solution if ever came a problem. He loves restitution because it confounds confusion. Who is that man? Is God up in heaven? Is man down below? or is God so much closer than any man can know? Sometimes, I can feel you coming closer. Is man just an image? Is God in his heaven far from his creation, distant from his reflection? Or is God so majestic he set that man free for freedom? and is God so poetic he made mans life a love song? Who is that man?
10.
The Year 04:14
The year came through like a winter storm My heart was so cold but my hands were warm so I thought of a way I could get everyone's attention My pen was a gun It was full of rounds so I shot off my mouth til the sun went down and I took out my passion on anyone who'd listen. On my own, I just get it wrong. With empty threats empty singing songs. The year sank deep and it took me down with it. All of my songs at the time were counterfeit, void of a love that I once called my salvation. My heart was a lock and I had no key I deserted my lover and ran to me so releasing my passion was nothing but condemnation. On my own I'm a sorry thing. I was writing songs that would never sing. Once I spoke of a harvest day. Now I can't think of words to say. Tear me away from these songs. Show me where I've been going wrong. Tear me away from myself. Give me some truth that I can tell. Give me truth to make me well. The year has loosened it's grip on me. I'm taking in air that I've never breathed. You've lifted my burden and taken me from my tension. My passion is clean and my heart is pure, the people are turning their hearts to yours and I'm filling my lungs with the songs of my redemption. Redemption song. Seeds I've sown are growing into trees. They're sowing wisdom back into me. Friend and foe, I have been the two. But friend, alone, is the word for you.
11.
Vapors 03:33
We float around the atmosphere and freedom feels so far from here. Everybody'e looking for a cloud to hold on to. Some of us will hide our tears pretending we are happy here. Some of us will fight until we die to find the truth. The skylines of our cities and the lifelines in our gritty hands now earthen from the terror of the unsafe skies. If you should land an empty space, ensure that you don't lose your place. Look busy, lock the door, lay down and live a lie. It's the sedition of a bitter beast, Emotion chained for years and then released. In the tradition of a million men. We vote in motion to be chained again but we can't break the chains. We're still scouring the universe. It's just a vain attempt to break the curse in which the lives we live are slowly streaming in reverse. We really are a tragedy. We're aching for a remedy. So take our broken hearts for better or for worse.
12.
Welcome 03:28
Take off your shoes and make yourselves more comfortable. It's hard to stay that way in here for long. I just heard the news, someone who's life was wonderful been crying cause somebody's done him wrong. Jesus, can you straighten out the crooked? Can you love the living hell out of the wicked? and Jesus, won't you stay and have some dinner even though you're eating with a sinner? Take off your coat. Come sit with me, take off a load so you can try my burden on instead. What do you know, my burden fits you perfectly, and here's a crown of pain I hope it fits your precious head. Jesus, won't you come and be our shepherd? Destroy the city gates and cleanse the lepers. and Jesus, while you're here, would you please save me? I've torn apart the gift of life you gave me. Where did you go? You left your shoes, you left your coat. I hope you're coming back someday for me. I see your load, your burden sitting by your chair. I try it on, it fits me perfectly. Jesus, since you came I feel much better. Jesus, I'm a friend of yours forever. Jesus I'd just like to stop the music To tell you that I love you, I'd live and die to prove it just like you did.

about

A collection of songs spanning Ricky's ten years in Gainesville with a rich collection of local musicians.

credits

released September 11, 2011

Thank you to my friends who made this album happen:
Tony Cordova-electric bass
Jared Groom-drums/percussion
Michael Claytor-banjo/pedal steel/vocals
Sam Moss-vocals
Nicole Miglis-keys/flute/vocals
Jimmy Kinzer-Upright bass
Ryan Baker-keys
David Levek-percussion
Blake Briand-trumpet
Juan Rollan -sax
Nellie Eschelman-Cello
Andrew Cook-Violin
Leigh Ann Douglas-Vocals

Recorded at Medusa Studios in Gainesville, Florida.
Mixed by Dave Melosh and Ricky Kendall
Mastered by Gerry King and Anthony Goodwin at GK Mastering.

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Ricky Kendall Gainesville, Florida

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